just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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