Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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