How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
