the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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