based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
