She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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