I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
