i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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