I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
