We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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