that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
