what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
