I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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