tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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