When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
worst night to have a conscience
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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