She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize