I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
