I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
