I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
