Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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