def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
