how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
