Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
