Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
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