Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
