sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize
