I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
