12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
