the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
