wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize