And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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