dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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