If that was your dad, he is hot
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
