The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize