So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
