last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
