I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
