At least make sure they are 18
Why
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
