Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I think people are normalizing furries
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
