South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
