That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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