They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
