I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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