Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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