We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
