i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
