You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
