This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
