How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
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