...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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