It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
