Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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