She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
