going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I think I sprained my soul last night
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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