No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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