i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Randomize
