Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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