pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
