Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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