scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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