I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
