Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
two words: eviction party
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
