it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize