there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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