You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
