You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
We had to coat check the pizza.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
